6 Emotional Phases of Divorce: The Healing Process Phase One: Fear I was married for sixteen years. My whole life revolved around my husband and my daughter. When my marriage fell apart, I did not have much of a support system in place. After the tears subsided somewhat and reality set in; I was what I feared most in my life, a divorced single mom. A gut wrenching feeling of fear set in. Fear Defined What is fear? Rhonda Britten author of Fearless Living defines fear as both the cause and effect of the feelings, thoughts, or actions that prohibit you from accepting yourself and realizing your full potential. It is the gate keeper of your comfort zone. If you look at fear as an acronym, false evidence appearing real, it is much easier to face. If whatever it is that you are afraid of is really false then you can set it aside or move through it. Now doesnt that make life seem simpler? Facing One of Your Biggest Fears: Failure The best way I have found to combat fear is to just face it head on and move through it. Many people are fearful of failure. I say define failure. Just because you do not achieve what you set out to, does it mean you failed or does it mean that you were just not meant to achieve that particular goal? When you are in a situation where you feel you failed, ask yourself what was it that I gained or learned? You can always learn from it, so in essence it can not be a failure then, can it? If nothing else you should congratulate yourself for taking the risk. Many people are too paralyzed by fear that they are unwilling to take the risk. The fact that you took the risk is worthy of praise and admiration. If you are afraid to try something because you might fail, think about the worse case scenario then ask yourself; if I do this will I survive? Unless the worse case scenario is death, you can survive so just do-it; what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. A great story depicting this very thing can be found in Dale Carnegies book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. You will be amazed how great you feel for taking the risk. If you want to learn more about dealing with fear I encourage you to sign up for the group coaching sessions that are beginning August 8, 2006. Contact me at coach@lisafredette.com for more details. Challenging You! So I challenge you to look fear in the face today and take a risk. You will be glad you did. You will be amazed how great you feel for taking the risk. What a self esteem builder and if nothing else it will give you a great story to tell your children, grandchildren or friends. If you take me up on my challenge and walk outside your comfort zone I would love to hear about your adventure, email me at coach@lisafredette.com. Next Article: Phase 2 - Anger Resources Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret, by Rhonda Britten How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, by Dale Carnegie |
